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So, I have a blog apparently…

20 Jul

It seems like I haven’t blogged (can I use it as a verb?) for about four or five years.  I think I stopped about the time I got an Iphone, and didn’t like typing on it as much, plus I got busy with real life.

We’re about to leave on our annual summer vacation to the beach Friday.  Tomorrow is my last day in the office for 10 days.  It will be nice getting away, but right now anxious that I have forgotten to pack something.

I’m going to set up a “Staging area” in the spare bedroom tonight, and pack as much as we can before we pick up the rental car tomorrow.

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So, there’s not much traffic here, nor content…

1 Nov

I started this blog about the time that my wife passed away.  My intention was to use it as a mechanism for expressing what I’ve been going through, in the chance that I might help someone else in the same situation.  Unfortunately, much of what I’ve gone through I found to be to private to share, at least for now.  I’m going to start putting some posts on here when I feel good about posting them in a public forum.

I have been sharing, though.  My daughter and I were put in touch with a wonderful group called Fernside.  They’ve been a tremendous help to both of us.  The meetings usually split the adults and children into two different groups, and group similar aged kids together.  I’ve met some wonderful people that way, and shared much within the group.  As always, everything said there is strictly confidential, so I consider it a safe place to express what I’m going through.

If you, or a loved one, find yourself in a similar situation, I would definitely recommend contacting them.  Their website is quite simply: http://www.fernside.org/

The first friday in June!

2 Jun

Today started off okay. Syd went to Jump Zone with the neighborhood kids, so I had the evening to myself.  I went to go see Dark Shadows after work, at the Levee.  Then stopped by BW3’s on the way home.  Syd got home, and we had a quick bath, and went to bed.  Now I’m getting ready to go upstairs myself.  

It’s been a while since an update

31 May

My daughter just completed First Grade, and we’re starting Summer Vacation today.  Everything is pretty normal, she goes to a neighbor down the street who she stays with during the day, and has fun playing with all the neighborhood kids.

Strangely enough, it’s creeping up on the two year anniversary of my wife’s death.  It doesn’t feel like it at all.

I just had a dream about her recently, where we talked and carried on as if she were alive. Towards the end of the dream, I thought, “How am I going to pay back the life insurance…do they even have a policy for that?” And woke up shortly there after.  I had dreams like that very frequently the first six months after she passed, but they’ve become infrequent.  At first I thought I was going a bit crazy, as I would wake up each morning, and have to tell myself again that she had actually died, and that I had just been dreaming.

The NBC TV show “Awake” touched on that nerve when it premiered this year, but I never watched an episode of it.

Summer!

31 May

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(see full image)

So, I questioned where the summer went…it looks like a year slipped by…

31 May

It’s now the last day of May, one year later.  I didn’t really update my blog here, because I’ve been keeping secret journals tucked away, and not sharing them with anyone.  That’s more or less where I’ve been writing lately.  I’ll probably cross-post some items here on occasion, but generally I’m going to keep public things public, and private things private.

Don’t feel bad, though.  I’m writing here, now, and I’m going to try to keep a post a week here, or so.  We’ll see how June goes.

About me and this blog

10 Jul

They say that you should write what you know. In the course of life you sometimes learn things that you never thought you would need to know. In my case that was how to deal with the loss of a spouse.

Last year, my wife of 17 years passed away. It was a shock to me, and our little girl. Sometimes I still don’t know how we made it through that first month, but we did. I think it was through the goodwill and hard work of our friends, family and neighbors that did it. I would say that we’re at a point where we’re on our own now, but that’s not entirely true. Our friends and family still are hanging in there with us.
Over the course of the past year, I’ve learned two things. First, how to deal with a sudden unexpected loss…It’s still a work in progress there. The second is how to be a better dad. I was a good dad before, don’t get me wrong, but I had a wonderful partner who helped me raise our daughter. She’s gone now, so the full weight of both parents is on my shoulders.
This blog is intended for any other dads or moms that are out there, in this same situation. You are not alone. It may feel like it, but there are other people going through this same thing every day. If I can in any way provide a bit of relief from the stress, that’s what I’m aiming to do.
I’m also going to use this to list some of the fun things Cincinnati has to offer single and married parents alike. This is a great town to raise a child in, and there are lots of activities each weekend if you know where to look for them.